Raapchaandoos

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Qawwalli

Meharbaan-Qadardaan, aaiye sunate hain Coding ki dastaan.
Sunkar aapkay dil mein uth jaayega ek bada toofaan.

Group:
Coding jaise hai ik aandhi, Coding jaise toofaan
Coding ke aage bebas hai, duniya mein har insaan
Coding jaise koi shaamat, coding hi Bhagwaana
Jo bhi kar le isko poora, Mil jaaye Nirvana

Group:
Dekho pyaare, kya nazaare, ye bechare, gum kay maaray, hain code mein kaise gum

Lead Singers & Group:
Haay! Thoughts apply karkay hain behaal kya karein;
Mil gaya hai kaisa ye sawaal kya karein.
Thoughts apply karkay hain behaal kya karein;
Mil gaya hai kaisa ye sawaal kya karein.

Chorus:
(Dhum tara, dhum tara, dhum tara,
dhum tara Dhum tara dhum tara dhum-ma
Dhum tara, dhum tara, dhum tara, dhum tara
Dhum tara dhum tara hum) -2

(Rap goes here) check that, like that

Lead Singers:(TM standing with the 6-sigma symbol)
PE hai ik raahi jaana, TM tum manzil ho
PE ki kya hasti jaana, TM tum kaabil ho
Dil na phir kuch maange jaana, bugs agar absent hon
Code hai mera tanha jaana, thoda to sentiment ho

Group:
Quality se saari khushiyaan, Quality barbaadi
Quality Paabandi lekin, Quality azadi
Fixing ki duniya mein yaaron quality hai Aadhi
Chal gaya jo jiska, usko, client ko dikhla di

Group:
Dekho pyaare, kya nazaare, ye bechare, gum kay maaray, hain code mein kaise gum

Lead Singers:
Haay! Thoughts apply karkay hain behaal kya karein;
Mil gaya hai kaisa ye sawaal kya karein.
Thoughts apply karkay hain behaal kya karein;
Mil gaya hai kaisa ye sawaal kya karein.

Lead Singers:
(In front of big Google’s logo)

Tumko pooja hai tumahari hi helping lee hai.
Humnay jab ki hai to phir aise hi coding ki hai (repeat).
Code mera buggy hai google, isko tum suljhado
System mein hulchul hai google, isko tum samjhaado
PM ye kadiyal hai google, isko tum hatwado
Client bhi adiyal hai google, mujhse tum milwado

Group:
PM coding kar laaya hai, tera chotu PE
It doesn’t have any errors, Can’t you please just seeE
PM mere dil mein kya hai, tumne ye na jaana
PM tujhko yaad aayega, code ka chal jaana.

Group:
Dekho pyaare, kya nazaare, ye bechare, gum kay maaray, hain code mein kaise gum

Lead Singers & Group:
Haay! Thoughts apply karkay hain behaal kya karein;
Mil gaya hai kaisa ye sawaal kya karein.
Thoughts apply karkay hain behaal kya karein;
Mil gaya hai kaisa ye sawaal kya karein.

Chorus:
(Dhum tara, dhum tara, dhum tara, dhum taraDhum tara dhum tara dhum-maDhum tara, dhum tara, dhum tara, dhum tara
Dhum tara dhum tara hum) -2

Monday, June 26, 2006

Mad-Ads

Ctrl-c, Ctrl-V Janam-Ghutti

Mother (A PM): So ja mere Bill Gates, so ja mere Jack Welch, So ja mere NRN, Aray! So ja mere Premjee. Kal jab tu uthega to main tujhay Object-oriented approach sikhaaoongi.

Grandmother: Bahooo! Array approaches hi sikhati rahegi ki Ctrl-c, Ctrl-V karna bhi bataaegi.

Chorus: Life’s carefree Buddy, When you have Ctrl-c, Ctrl-V Janam-Ghutti (ting-ting…. tirring)


Shut-tayl (Press yourself)

Wiproite (Bugged by the increasing crowd in Wipro regular buses goes to Repeater Don): Sir, I am petrified, stupefied – dimaag ka dahi ho gaya hai. Please do something regarding this swelling crowd in regular buses.

Repeater Don (Who is busy passing instructions – EC-14 goes to New Thippasandra etc.): (stylishly. Airtel music playing in the background) What Sir! Try Shut-tayl. Press yourself.


Hosh-Udd road – Aapkay hosh uda de. Junglee-Bail, Junglee-Bail, Junglee all the way (Christmas Jingle)

(Santa is coming to visit Electronics city to shower his blessings and of course the presents): Jingle bell –2 jingle all the way, Santa Claus is coming along, Riding on a Bhains. (And he gets stuck in the meaty traffic of Hosh-Udd road and a passer-by brushes his shoulders and he falls) (The tune changes) Junglee-Bail, Junglee-Bail, Junglee all the way. Santa Claus is running away, far off from this mess.

(Suddenly a Wiproite recognizes him and shouts): Aren’t you Santa. My preseeeent (childishly).

Santa: Yes I am Santa, Ye lo ghanta.

Wiproite: Hosh-Udd road – Aapkay hosh uda de.


Clutch: Wherever you go your Not-Work follows

(A Project Engineer jiskay sir par duniya ki saari museebatein daal di gayee hain aur wo bilkul pak gaya hai. Bechara shanty aur sukoon kay liye rest room mein chupa baitha hai ki kuch “introspection” ho jaaye.): (Singing carelessly with low voice) Dum maaro dum, Mit jaaye gum. Karo subah-shaam, Rest room mein aaraam.

(Knock- Knock Knock- Knock…. increasing voice). (He doesn’t respond fearing of getting caught)

(Knock- Knock) (PM comes into picture): I know u r there bloke, what’s the status now.

PE (shivering): Work-in-progress sir.

PM: I know it’s Not-work. Just come out with whatever the current status is (angrily).

PE: But Sir..

PM: (Cutting his sentence) I told you na!

(PE comes out and PM takes him to his cabin).

CHORUS: Clutch: Wherever you go your Not-Work follows.


Coca-Bhola – Jeeyo Sir utha kay

(A young guy named “Coca” is carrying an elderly person on his shoulders and running here and there inside the Wipro premises. The security person comes into the picture)

SP: Coca-Bhola, excuse me!

Coca: Kya re!

SP: What r u doing?

Coca: Aankhein hain ki aaloo ki faankein hain. Dikhta nahin kya?

SP: Why are you carrying this elderly man on your shoulders and running.

Coca: Ye mere PM SIR hain aur main inko utha kay jee raha hoon.

(Stylishly) Coca-Bhola – Jeeyo “SIR” utha kay.